I was signing Thank You cards over the weekend and asked my husband if he had any message to share with our friends and family. “No, I’m sure you’ve got it covered.” Being a smart ass, he then smirked and made a comment about how thank you cards fall under the woman’s domain, anyway. “Oh, a thank you is too girly for a manly-man?” No, he replied, but if he wants to express appreciation, he will simply tell the person directly.
It got me thinking about the expectations of proper etiquette that women are subjected to, which men escape. Tradition placed the job of completing the thank you cards in the woman’s to-do list. My Oma would tut-tut and bemoan the changing times and the state of the younger generation if she didn’t receive a thank you from someone she gifted. Personally, I don’t expect thank you cards, and always feel slight surprise when I've received one in the mail. I’m not trying to debate the value of thank you cards. I do think that it is a nice gesture -- A way to recognize the time, effort, and money people spent in order to help my husband and I prepare for our baby. It just seems to be a remnant from the past that I wouldn’t miss if gone.
What are your thoughts? Are thank you cards solely a woman’s chore in your family? Is it a responsibility passed along to you? Are snail-mail thank you’s necessary in today’s world, when an email can express the same sentiment?
Thank you cards are definitely a nice gesture, but it shouldn't be solely the woman's job to send them. There's this whole ideal that men should be strong and women should be nice and caring, but men should also be caring.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, all of society should be a little more caring. War, poverty, Republicanism--all ills of society that stem from this same ideal.
I agree with Emmett that it shouldn't only be a woman's job, but I also agree with you that it shouldn't be a necessity anymore. If you send someone a written thank you letter, it should be because you want to, not because it's something people expect of others. I don't think e-mail is a good replacement of hand written thank you's either. If I recieved an e-mailed thank you letter, I would take it the same way I would a personally delivered vocal thank you.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right: An email is on the same level as a vocal thank you.
ReplyDeleteSo...it seems that is is up to individuals to shift from the *idea* to the *reality* that a man OR woman can complete the task.